You Are Not the Numbers

Whether you like them or not, the numbers show reality. They exemplify what is important to you. You might say being home with your children is the most important thing to you, but unless you are spending money consciously then the numbers don’t lie.

Why do people avoid numbers like the plague? Because it makes them feel crappy! Realizing that you aren’t doing well financially hurts. It makes you feel stupid, or like you can’t do anything right. Even if you are doing ok, shouldn’t you be doing better?

First things first. You are not the numbers. Your financial statements don’t determine your value. You are a smart person. You care about your family. You are a mom trying to be everything to everyone.

The numbers show the truth. They may mean your choices weren’t smart. There are two reasons why we don’t make smart choices with money.

#1 Misinformation or you didn’t have enough knowledge

#2 You let emotions make your decision.

We all make bad decisions in our lives. No one is perfect. So don’t worry if your financial life isn’t healthy right now. That’s why you are here.

The only thing you can do about your past mistakes is to learn from them. Being willing to accept your mistakes is an important part of accepting yourself.

Nathaniel Brayden from the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem says:

“We must remind ourselves that accepting does not necessarily mean liking, enjoying, or conditioning. I can accept what is and determine to evolve from there.”

Being able to accept reality is the precursor to growth.

Do not ignore the reasons for your mistakes and say, “Everyone makes mistakes, I won’t worry about it.”? Those words are a recipe for disaster. You need to understand why you made them so you can make better future decisions.

This is how I made the changes necessary to become debt free. I was able to say, “Wow I made some bad decisions!”

I thought they were right at the time with the information I had. But now looking back, they weren’t going to help me live the life I want. So I swallowed some pride and decided to move forward.

Now when I look back at those same mistakes, I smile. I still know they weren’t smart, but I know I crushed them. Crushing your mistakes is a great feeling! I’m glad I made them, just so I could overcome them.

How do you feel when you look at the numbers?

 

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Hi I’m Jaime. Each and every week I bring you the top business advice from the people who know best.

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12 responses

  • I really like this article. It reminds me of a post I had a few weeks back about how everythign happens for a reason. Whether we chose to learn from those expereineces, especially the bad ones, it up to us. I think that negative experiences tend to stick with us better than positive ones. Maybe there’s a reason for that, such as learn from our mistakes! 🙂

    Great message!

    • Thanks. That is something I am doing my best to learn. The attitude that everything happens for a reason can free your mind.

      And maybe your right. I just wish negative ones didn’t make us all feel so crappy 🙂

  • hi jaime! i just stumbled across your blog and love what you have to say. thanks for sharing your story.

    • Thanks Sunni for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it. 🙂

  • I like our numbers…even when the spending seems higher than it should be, I can say the same about our savings so I smile. We’ve made big financial mistakes (like investing $15,000 in a business that had no chance…I should have looked harder), but it’s okay. We’re okay. The numbers show me that I can stop freaking out every time my husband decides to have fast food for lunch instead of the leftovers in the fridge…

    • I love that. Numbers can give you peace of mind! I know going over our budget always helps. The numbers used to be bad, now the numbers are so good! (course I am not the numbers if they are good either!)

  • Fortunately, Our finances are fine. But I especially liked what you said about facing reality and putting your time towards what you value. It’s also really important to put your money towards what you value. Kind of like living with intention!
    Thanks for a great article-covered it in my favs this week!

    • Thanks for including it in your favorites. I love that your blog does that. 🙂

  • When we started our budget a few months ago I hated doing it. I have always been great with numbers, although I actually hate math…go figure. While working on my finance degree, I aced analyzing financial statements and I guess I hated working on the budget so much because I could see the hand writing on the wall and hated seeing that there wasn’t really any money left for the month and hated having the feeling of being broke. I also hated that I had made the mistake of getting into six figures of debt not only once, but twice. Now that we have the budget as part of our routine and I see the debt coming down I feel much better. I realize the mistakes we made and we are determined to reverse the damage we have done. We did it once and I know we can do it again.

    • That is great! It reminds me of the saying by Smokey the Bear, “Only YOU can prevent forest fires.” Only you can reverse the damage you’ve done. It’s awesome to just say that, and then even better to do something about it! Awesome.

  • Good read. Enjoyed the Brayden quote and the insight about accepting the decisions even though you may not liked them anymore. Thanks.

    • Loved Brayden’s book. Have you read it before?

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